A few of you may have picked up on the fact that my weight has been a major struggle to me recently--particularly in the last few months. I feel like I have tried everything to no avail. I hit a major low point on Sunday. I should have been feeling great--I had just done well in my tri the day before (I placed 7th in my category!) Yet as I was getting ready for church, I couldn't fit into clothes that fit me just a few months ago. I was devastated.
Tonight as I was running along, contemplating life and my jiggling body, I had a total epiphany. A few months ago my doctor doubled my daily dose of anti-anxiety meds (yes, I am heavily medicated. I dare you to set a toenail into my life without some sort of medicinal help and see how you fare.) HELLO!!!! It all fits! That is why I keep gaining weight even while doing all that I do!! And why I live my life in a daily fog of complete and utter exhaustion!
I will be calling my PCP first thing in the morning to see if I can wean back to half of what I am on now. I don't dare go all the way off...maybe...or should I? I don't know! Fat and coping or skinny and emotionally unstable? Shouldn't it be the other way around?